Being the rebellious teenager that I was, I adamantly refused to do something as “school spirited” as the prom. spits in disgust So imagine my surprise a mere 8 years after I graduated high school to find myself at a prom. This was no ordinary prom though; it was “Night to Shine.” A dance hosted with the sole purpose of celebrating those with special needs.
I had signed up to be a “buddy”, someone whose job it is to spend the evening with a guest at the event and help them have fun, but also ensure they are safe. Having spent almost no time with those with special needs and having a dodgy (at best) safety record, I knew I was the man for the job. Still, when the night of the event actually came I found myself worried; surely anyone who draws breath is more qualified to do this sort of thing than me. I can’t even take an air conditioner unit out of the window without destroying it (as per my last blog entry)! It was too late to back down though, so I just did what I always do in the face of something I’m terrified of: pray frantically that God would cause a natural disaster so I wouldn’t have to deal with it.
February 7th 2020
Walking up to the volunteer entrance I felt my uneasiness blossom as more and more eyes followed me. Despite my protests, my dad insisted that I wear my dress blues to the event, claiming it would mean a lot to the people going. Much to my displeasure, I had to admit it was worth a shot. At the very least it’s the nicest clothing I own, garish as it may be. Immediately, I was surprised just how many people there were. Hundreds milled about the entrance looking for where they were meant to be.
After fighting my way to my sign-in table, I received a name tag with a map. “Pssht, as if I could need a map at a prom” I arrogantly thought. Next, the friends I came with and I were escorted to the stands of the baseball field until we were paired up with a guest. Minutes dragged by as we anxiously waited to be paired up. Every conceivable negative outcome ran through my mind. Visions of me attempting to resuscitate my guest going through anaphylactic shock after being fed peanut butter cookies plagued my mind. Soon we were brought to the meet up area.
Pure chaos ensued as hundreds of people were frantically moving around signing in guests and being paired off. I was brought to a table and told to wait, and before I even realized it, my friends had disappeared, already paired up and off to the prom. I looked around and tried to guess who I would end up with, but before I could a man almost twice my age spoke behind me.
“Hello.”
I turned around and greeted whom I assumed was one of the volunteers. But much to my surprise he had a guest name tag. Not for the first time that night I realized I was operating on naive preconceived notions, and I recognized him for who he actually was, my guest.
A volunteer gave me a card with my guest’s information on it and I noted with gratitude that he had no peanut allergies. We attempted to make our way out of the chaos before he stopped me and informed me that he still needed to check-in his wife. We found her isolated in a corner, snuggled up in a blanket thanks to a rare cold day in Florida. We brought her to her sign-in area where she was paired off and sent away. Retrospectively, I would have done something to ensure we could find her in the future, but it was just the first of many mistakes I made that night.
While the staging area is at the baseball field, the actual Night to Shine event is held in a hockey arena located across the street. After we got our shoes shined we walked to an imposing line for limousines that would cart us to the red carpet at the arena.
As we walked down rows and rows of hundreds of people of every sort, I noticed an odd thing, people kept waving to me. Then it hit me, the uniform! They weren’t waving at me, they were saluting me! I felt terrible for missing so many before, but I did my best to salute everyone back in kind. It was just a glimpse of what awaited me inside.
Making our way down the line I became increasingly aware of just how long it was. Still I tried to make the best of it by getting to know my buddy better. He was quiet and reserved, but I eventually learned his name was William and that he was a huge football fan, causing me to frantically try to remember anything about the sport.
“uhh, so the Jaguars.. are… a team..”
Utilizing my epic small talk skills helped carry us through the next, and I kid you not, HOUR of waiting in line for a limo. But finally we made our way up to the front of the line, and walked right up to a limo. But right as we were about to enter a man shut the door and informed us that they could no longer afford to take people in limos as it was taking far too long. My mind jumped to “righteous” anger for Williams’s sake, but when I turned to look at him he didn’t look disappointed, in fact he looked happy. The only thing he said was that he was glad we were almost inside. I began to realize the only thing William cared about was seeing his wife again, and I was humbled.
After waiting in line for a little while longer we entered the red carpet area. Four long rows of red carpet were lined with hundreds of people screaming, clapping, and yelling encouragement. I feared for a moment that a man as shy as William would be taken aback, but instead he came alive. He jogged down one of the rows to the entrance and high-fived as many people as he could. My senses were overwhelmed and it was all I could do to keep up. Still William carried on; carried by a goal I doubt anything could stop.
As we entered the actual prom, I was hit with just how LOUD it was. The music thumped on my chest with each beat, making me feel as if a very weak person was using me as a punching bag. The lights flickered and a sea of people covered the entire rink. Feeling just as much the fish out of water that I was, William and I began our search for his wife.
Almost every minute I was stopped by someone new to thank me for my great “sacrifice” or “heroics.” I was high-fived and saluted more times than I think I ever have been in my life during those few hours. One women stopped dead in front of me and yelled over the music,
“ARE YOU AIR FORCE! THAT’S AMAZING, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU DO!”
She stood closer and inspected my name tag, on which it says ‘US COAST GUARD’
“OH! Coast Guard huh? Well thanks anyway!”
Williams wife proved to be more elusive than I anticipated, prompting us to attempt the food line. While I justified to myself that I had suggested we get something to eat because his wife could very well be doing the same, it may well have been the fact that it had been a long time since I had anything to eat or drink.
We waited in line for what felt like hours, but finally we made it to the food, each of us getting as much as we could before finding a table. As I sat our food down and began to eat, William for the first time that day looked troubled.
“I have to go to the bathroom.”
“Of course! You go and I’ll watch the foo…” I said without thinking.
But then it dawned on me how foolish I was being and as we walked away I grabbed a mouthful and said goodbye to our food forever, not without emotion.
After making our way through a labyrinth of people and rooms, with William doing a much better job of guiding us than I could ever hope to, we returned from the bathroom. Of course the food was gone and there was still no sign of his wife anywhere. Wearing that silly uniform I wished the person everyone seemed to see in me actually existed, able to turn the situation into something magical for William. Instead all I had accomplished was to make him wait in long lines for hours. Best I could think to do was to steal some ice cream for him. That seemed to help and afterwards we continued the search, except this time William lead the way and I just followed.
Music thrashed through my bones, lights flared off every angle, and a seemingly endless wall of people danced around us. Still William was undaunted by every distraction. He made his way through people skillfully while I lagged behind, but eventually I saw him stop. Finally he had found his wife, finally he found his goal.
His wife’s buddy and I shared a laugh at how impossible it felt to find each other. But William didn’t notice anything except his wife now.
Finally I let myself relax, and I realized that it was me who had created all these problems in the first place. William sought his wife, but at no point did he seem distressed, even the lengthy lines didn’t affect his mood. He was simply happy to be there and now ecstatic to see his wife.
Soon a man a head taller than me rushed over in great excitement.
“WOW, LOOK AT YOU! YOU’RE A SOLDIER AREN’T YOU!”
“Well… Coast Guard”
“WOW!”
Full of child-like wonder he then insisted on praying for me, then playing a game of war together. We dance and he pretended to kill me in every way possible, but mostly with his own invention of bowling ball grenades. (Sorry weapon companies, I think he already has a patent on these.)
Somewhere in the midst of all this I finally saw what God was trying to show me. A people who aren’t “different” or “lesser” in anyway, but who display such nonexclusive and immeasurable love and joy for each other that it makes me feel pathetic in comparison. The friendship and kindness they showed me rivaled that of my own family, and I don’t think it was just the uniform, I think it’s just the kind of people they are.
As the night came to a close, William, his wife, her buddy, and I made our way to back to the baseball field. Once there, a friend of William came to pick them up.
“Goodbye William! Thanks for an awesome night!”
I waved goodbye and walked back to wait for my friends. The woman who was Williams’s wife’s buddy (that’s a mouthful) walked after me.
“How long have you been calling him William?”
“All night of course, it’s his name!”
“No its not! It’s Billy!”
I laughed, of course it was! And yet he never made any complaint. That’s just the kind of guy he was
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